Current Mood: Skywalker-ish

Hey there 2010 You good looking thing, you!

Or so I hope anyway. 2009 has been a doozy;  for many reasons. Let me ramble on about a few of them here. Why not, right? Alright so just off the top of my head is the loss of Patrick Swayze, who like Randy Pausch had pancreatic cancer. FYI if you’ve not seen ‘The Last Lecture’ you should watch it here; it’s long but never boring and will certainly make you think about your own life. As for Mr. Swayze, well he was just plain awesome. Nuff said.

I’m not much on celebrities or the loss of them to be honest. It’s sad when anyone passes away, no matter the balance of your bank account. I’m sure later on I’ll remember something or someone I should have mentioned but that’s how my brain works; it has a bit of lag to it!

So back to 2009… I lost a childhood friend this year. Known him about all my life; our families lived beside each other and we grew up together, went to school together, played together in the canal when we were small.  Cancer. Again in my life. Just about had enough of that stuff too. The next week we lost my father-in-law. Not cancer this time. Loss is loss though, I guess the hows and whys are irrelevant in the end.

In the weeks following the loss of these two people in my life, I experienced some eye-opening things. I saw a sadness that would break your heart; a mother suffering with cancer herself bury a much loved son, thinking of everyone except herself.  Some folks must be born with a courage that is superhuman, to endure the most unthinkable things. I also saw a different kind of grief. One born of the sudden loss of someone close. The shock and not knowing what to do with yourself.  As a bit of time went by I saw greed and entitlement afflict a few people. I have to say I was shocked and saddened. It goes to show that you never really know someone until the shit hits the fan. And when there is money involved some people show their true colors (even if it’s not their money!). Pathetic is the best way to describe those people. I have to say I think I’ve permanently lost interest in these folks. These aren’t the kind of people I want in my life. Not a big loss for me considering what I know now, though.

Still it’s been a year I’m ready to part with. Onward! Forward! And all that jazz…..

Current Mood: Monkey-ish

Well the semester is over. Thank God on so many levels. This semester has been a doozy. From the ill-mannered, no-teaching Spanish instructor to the fact I had so many other things going on that distracted from assignments. I know I did well in all the classes except Spanish (which is right now at a C, and no final posted yet), even though I missed several assignments. Considering the last few months I’m happy to just get done with it all. I have to say at least a couple of more things on the Spanish bit and then I’ll try not to mention it again! I’m torn between complaining to someone at the school. This guy should not be teaching anyone, or should I say trying to teach. So that’s up in the air. I also wonder how he not only got in the position of instructor BUT how has he stayed there? My faith in the future dropped measurably this semester.

So that was the odds. Now the ends.

I’m sick of this place.  I never thought in a million years that I would really say those words aloud and mean them. But I have been saying them lately and have no doubt I mean them completely. This place that has been home all my life. This place that I’ve defended to many bitter ends. This place that really DOES have some of the kindest, most decent, gentle people you could ever hope to know. This place that has a damp, swampy, flat kind of unique beauty. This place. I am sick of it.
It’s not one of those ‘things never change’ kind of sicknesses. It’s the ‘nothing will ever change for the good’ kind of sickness.  We have more than our share of the bullshit with politics and corruption. Corruption is the name of the game in our county. No sense going over it all again, because it will never change. The educated people here will continue to thrive while the uneducated continue to scrape by. Never being able to afford to become better educated. It’s a big nasty circle that is intentionally perpetuated to keep people in their places.

Why anyone would settle in this county beats the living hell out of me. I can’t help but snicker every time I see something about promoting our county as a retirement haven….seriously? We don’t even have a complete network of sidewalks in our county seat. There isn’t a decent movie theatre in the whole county. Run down houses and trashy trailer parks are strewn beside almost every single highway. But hey come retire here! Right?

Um yeah.

Current Mood: Pumpkiny

…and then it’s not! Cool crisp and autumny and then back to the same old heat. I wish it would stay cool and crisp, but I guess that’s too much to ask in our climate. Still mornings like today that are fall like, are awesome.

I’m already wishing for snow